Recommended Resources
*This list is a collection of resources DJ has found useful in his work with teens, couples, and families, and parents. Presence on this list does not represent any financial relationship with individuals or organizations who produce or sell products, nor does it represent any endorsement or guarantee in terms of its usefulness or fit for your unique situation.
Articles by DJ
How to Stop Wasting Your Breath When Your Child Won’t Listen by DJ Hilley, MSEd, LPC
Observer Mode: When All Else Fails, Fall Back on Presence by DJ Hilley, MSEd, LPC
Cracking the Code of Parent-Teen Relationships by DJ Hilley, MSEd, LPC
Ending Academic Battles by DJ Hilley, MSEd, LPC
Talks by DJ
How to Hack the Brains of Everyone You Know: The Science and Skill of Relational Influence at Nerd Nite Reno, September 2025
Books
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The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, MD and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD
Bully Nation: Why America’s Approach to Childhood Aggression is Wrong for Everyone by Susan Eva Porter, PhD
Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential by Peg Dawson, EdD and Richard Guare, PhD (this has several versions: for high schoolers, find the “Teen" version)
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
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Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel, MD
How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years by Julie Ross
How to Talk so Teens Will Listen & Listen so Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults by Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington (see also www.grownandflown.com)
Feeding the Mouth that Bites You by Kenneth Wilgus, PhD
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Let’s Talk About It: The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Being a Human by Ericka Moen and Matthew Nolan
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Developing Habits for Relationship Success by Brent J. Atkinson, PhD (available at www.thecouplesclinic.com/books)
The Course of Love: A Novel by Alain de Botton
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go by Jay Shetty
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari
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Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, PhD
Come Together by Emily Nagasaki, PhD
Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure & Satisfaction by Debbie Herbenick, PhD
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Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child by Isolina Ricci, PhD
Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex by Julie Ross, MA, and Judy Corcoran
Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families by Marc Brown and Laurie Kransy Brown
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These books and resources are recommended for anyone looking to improve their ability to navigate the challenges in relationships and in everyday life. Taking care of oneself is not optional when caring for others - it is central to success.
Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence by Daniel J. Siegel, MDSelf-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, PhD
Self-Compassion.org - website of Dr. Kristin Neff, a wonderful resource with many free online activities and exercises.
Love 2.0: Creating Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection by Barbara Fredrickson, PhD
Web Resources
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WEB RESOURCES
Bullies to Buddies, Inc. - Created by Izzy Kalman, MS, NCSP - www.bullies2buddies.com
Wheel of Awareness (meditation) - Created by Daniel J. Siegel, MD - www.drdansiegel.com/wheel-of-awareness/
Greater Good Science Center - The Science of a Meaningful Life www.ggsc.berkeley.edu
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Meditation (typically involve a free trial and have excellent rates for students or school professionals over 18)
Calm - www.calm.com
Headspace - www.headspace.com
Relationships
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Episodes
Sex & Gender - Sawbones: A Marital Tour of Misguided Medicine with Justin & Dr. Sydnee McElroy. Sawbones bills itself as a comedy podcast and regularly shares humorous views on medical history. However, co-host Sydnee McElroy is a practicing physician who presents thoroughly researched information from the medical field, and this particular episode provides an excellent overview for anyone looking to navigate the evolution of understanding of sex and gender.
The True Hard Work of Love and Relationships - On Being with Krista Tippett. Interview with Author of The Course of Love, Alain de Botton.
Stuck Between My Daughter and My Husband - Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel. Insightful view on the complex dynamics at home and how to start creating boundaries and healthy interactions between the partner and the teenager.
ADHD Part 1 & ADHD Part 2 - Stuff You Should Know with Josh Clark & Chuck Bryant. A no-nonsense look at what it is, how to understand it, and what can be done to manage it.
Other great and informative episodes by Stuff You Should Know:
Podcast Series
Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel. This world renowned sex & relationship therapist engages in single sessions with couples or individuals and demonstrates her unique ability to identify reflect important patterns both within the relationship and within the partners themselves.
Sex With Emily with Emily Morse, Doctor of Human Sexuality. Her podcast is defined as part of her “mission to liberate the conversation about sex and pleasure.”
Savage Lovecast with Dan Savage. This is a sex & advice podcast that also regularly features researches and health providers. I also find that his advice is often very grounded in healthy boundaries and healthy communication.